#Percaya

All I need is my bestfrend.
Not a boyfriend. Nor a stranger.
The one that I can talk to.
About everything.
Just because of silly mistake back then,
when the r'ship of frend get involved with feeling, it's ruin everything.
and that is the biggest mistake I have ever made.
I didn't realized, frend can't be more than that.
Kawan tetap kawan.
You with your sweet talk, a little care, make me overwhelming.
You ask me to date more than twice.
You called me sindarella.
You buy me things.
You text me everyday.
 But, it is just you.
Who really love to play around.
Who treated all girl like how you treat me.
Even though they told me that you always mention my name in front of them,
we ARE JUST FRIEND.
It's just i felt it like a crush, but the truth is,
it's not.
I love you, yes i really do.
That is why, after 4 years we are together as a friend.
I accept your proposal. As your girlfriend of course.
But, after that, i felt loss.
Rasa hilang sangat.
You asked me why.
and i burst with tears.
Only for 4 days.
Cukup sekejap untuk masa 4 tahun yang kita kenal.
I realized I didn't trust you enough to love you as what-ever-r'ship-people-called.
I keep thinking, how can you date me and in the very same time, you date another girl.
You ask me to stay, but you happy with some other girls.
Sampai saya tertanya tanya,
" Who am I to you? Saya bukan barang simpanan awak. Saya bukan patung."
Awak pegang hati saya, dan tiba tiba awak lepaskan pergi.
Tapi, tu bukan salah awak.
Saya sepatutnya dah kenal awak.
You never serious in any matters.
and the jealousy yang muncul bila awak ada dia, dia dan dia. Sesiapa saja tu.
Tu cuma sebab you used to be with me.
dengar cerita saya, teman saya nangis.
and it is definitely not love :)

Finally, masa dah lama berlalu pergi.
sekarang dah 7 tahun kita kenal.
i really miss my old buddy. HAHA.
My dearest batman.
i hope he already find his ms. right and be happy.
I do contact him sometimes. to catching up about ourlife.
But the fact we are not-so-close-after-that-case buat saya jadi awkward.
Nak nak bila tiba-tiba awak panggil saya sinderella balik macam bukak kisah lama.
HAHA.
saya ingat awak dah berubah.
Tolong jangan mainkan perasaan orang lain lagi :)

Saya taknak diorang rasa apa yang saya rasa.
kalau diorang tu jenis susah nak terima sesiapa.


- coretan sukasuki based on someone's story-
p/s : how can you love someone that you didn't trust?