bleed.

This is a confession.

I will never know whoever read this post.


----



I hate you. I hate her. I hate both of you. and the most person I hate is myself.


I always want your attention. I want you to reply my text. I want you to be happy. With me.


But I know, she's the one who get your attention. You will never ignore her text. and I know, deep down. You are happy, with her.


I know. Don't ask me how.


I just know..



It's pathetic.



When I know the fact but still not leaving you. haha.



I know by her comment.

I know by how you respond me when I asked about her.



It's a denial.

That you said you didn't love her.



and why on earth im cryin right now. Fuck.




Its not like she is the third person. Its look like I'm the one.

The third person.


and if you read this, you gonna say i am merapu. said nonsense thing.






how on earth she always know what you up to.

Thats all I ask.


crazy isnt? I mean, Im the one yang being crazy.




Jealous? Damn right.





I hate myself because I stay.





I dont really know how to say goodbye. All I ever know is how to love. So, stab me. Tikam banyak kali. Sampai puas. Im gonna stay here and bleed.





Stay. Here.





and





Bleed.








thanks.

-

Sungguh,

aku tak pasti.

tentang kamu.

Well, sebenarnya aku dah taip panjang.

Then, aku fikir, whats the point of tulis panjang panjang. Kan?

Saya cuma nak sampaikan ni.




"Saya tahu saya tak penting bagi awak.

Saya tahu saya bukan siapa siapa bagi awak.

Saya tahu awak tak percaya saya.




Say the word. and I will leave."

#Hikayat 7

Kau.


Aku.


Kita tidak sempurna.


Aku harap, andai kau ditakdirkan menjadi jodohku,

menjadi imamku,

menjadi ayah kepada anak anakku.




kita bakal sempurnakan diri kita.





Kau. Jodohku. Yang masih tidak diketahui siapa orangnya.

#Hikayat 6

Kadang,

Aku sering terlupa.

Kamu itu,

Belum tentu aku yang punya.

tentang kamu.

Dan jodoh itu belum tentu milik kita.

Aku berharap.

Kau yang pertama. Dan terakhir. Untuk segala galanya.

~BHA

Kau tahu, setiap manusia ada titiknya.

Dimana bila sampai masa, dia hanya akan berserah.

dan kini aku berserah.

Kalau ada jodoh, adalah.