Assalamualaikum.
Lama aku tak update new post. Setahun lebih kauu. Gila tak lama? kk. Currently aku tengah internship as tenaga pengajar kat satu kolej ni kat perak. But i'm not here to talk about my internship or kerja yang tak pernah nak habis. I'm here to talk about love or lust. Persimpangan antara dua. Korang dengan boipren/ girlpren korang tu,
are you in love or in lust?
Hadirnya lust bilamana wujudnya love. But what if lust is the first one yang wujud?
we are going to discuss this in matured way.
First of all, let me define lust. Lust is having a very strong sexual desire for someone. Ayat senang dia, nafsu yang terlalu tinggi terhadap seseorang. While, love, I cant give the exact definition for love. I guess everyone have their own definition for this one word. But for me, to love is to trust.
lust. can you control yourself?
Orang kata, kalau dah sayang, kita tak dapat nak control apa dah. terutamanya perempuan. Semua kau nak bagi. Bilamana nafsu membenarkan apa yang dilarang oleh akal. I cant deny this one. The feeling are sooo strong that you cant be sure by yourself,
'can I even control myself?'.
There is always a limit for everything.
Kau boleh untuk berserah segala-galanya. Kau tahu hukum agama. Tapi kau tetap ikutkan nafsu semata-mata. Itu pilihan kau. Kau tahu apa yang salah, apa yang benar.
Cuba kau fikir, kalau betul kau cintakan dia, kalau betul kau mahukan dia, kenapa kau tetap nak tuntut sesuatu yang bakal kau punya? Sedang kau tahu, kalau kau cintakan dia, kau bakal nikahi dia, kau tetap miliki apa yang kau cuba untuk rampas sebelum waktu itu tiba.
Ask yourself. Ask myself.
Adakah cinta kau berlandaskan nafsu semata?
Tanya hati, tanya diri.
Aku tahu bukan senang untuk mengawal diri. Aku cuba.
Aku tahu bukan senang untuk kau terus berpegang pada prinsip kau selama ini ini. Tapi kau tetap terus untuk mencuba.
Manusia adalah lemah. Senang digoda.
Andai kau tewas, cubalah untuk berubah.
Cinta kalau bersandarkan hawa nafsu, entah sampai bila mampu untuk bertahan.
what if lust is the first one yang wujud?
Do you want my body or do you want me?
Agak kasar bunyinya mungkin. But, its a fact. Lust is apabila kau tergoda dengan seseorang. mempunyai keinginan seksual yang tinggi terhadap seseorang. Tapi tak cinta.
Situasinya seperti, kau mahu. Aku mahu. Suka sama suka untuk melakukan sex.
That is lust. not love.
But again, I told you, bila kau sayang, bila kau cinta, tetap godaan itu datang bertimpa-timpa, itu jua yang kau mahukan. Lust is everywhere. Boleh wujud bila kau tak cinta. Dan pasti wujud bila kau cinta. Semuanya terletak pada diri kau.
untuk kawal diri kau.
untuk mentafsir apa sebenarnya yang kau mahukan.
So here's what I can suggest on how you can differentiate between love and lust. If you recognize yourself in any of this, I suggest you run like hell. Now.
1. There is more fire and less stability
Love- real love- is all about commitment and communication. Bilamana both of this component yang membawa hubungan itu untuk jadi lebih stabil. Of course fire is a need in a relationship, some drama, chaos, and emotional things untuk buat hubungan tu lagi spicy, tapi when the fire is blows more than butterfly, it is a lustful situation. Bila kau cinta, sayang, kau akan lebih percaya. Dan kau akan lebih memahami antara satu sama lain instead of making some drama for other people to watch.
2. You focus more on the outside than inside
This is when kau suka dia because of the looks. He/she looks so gorgeous from head to toe without a flaw to be found that you are so proud saying he/she's mine just because of that. Bilamana kau terlalu obses dengan kecantikan/kehenseman dia sehingga kau lupa yang you should look on personality over rupa paras.
3. You prefer the fantasy
When you are with him/her, you didn't want a 'grown up' life with him/her. You just want to escape from reality. The childish act, immaturity, irresponsibility. You just looking for fun. While, kalau kau betul cinta, Kau akan lebih rasa untuk pikul rasa tanggungjawab. Tau yang cinta, sayang itu bukan sekadar having fun together but it is more on how you tolerate with each other, how you help each other and menjaga antara satu sama lain.
4. Why aren't we having sex right now?
Bukan aku tak kenal agama. But, this is reality. Bilamana having a sex with someone even though they are not married yet menjadi normal pada masa kini. Even the words 'one night stand' menjadi normal. Terkejut? Yes. I was shocked with the statement 'we can have sex. asalkan suka sama suka cukup la.' But, this is reality. Face it. That is why when you are in lustful situation, all you think about is having a sex with that person. The feeling to be with him/her are more greater than knowing him/her. You didn't care about him/her, but you want to be with him/her.
5. You're not friends
Kau bercinta. Tapi kau tak berkawan. Perkataan 'kawan' itu ialah bilamana kau tunjuk perangai kau yang sebenar. The devils inside you. Kau boleh nak jadi comot tahap apa pon. Kau mampu bercerita even about the most silly thing that you have done. Kau mampu tunjuk the real you. Kalau kau hanya bercinta, you want to look perfect in front of him/her.
6. Intimacy doesn't exist
Although cuddling can be really satisfying and comforting when you are in love, bila kau in lust a body against you just feels like a dead weight. Sekali lagi, what you can think about, 'why aren't we having sex right now?'
7. You experience intense neediness
Bilamana kau tak mampu percaya. Kau sentiasa tertanya tanya when you didn't get the attention you needed from him/her. 'Was he/she texting with someone else? Was he/she not home, as he/she said, but out with someone else? Why isn't he/she answering my calls? Of course, kalau aku pon, heyyy awak hilang p mana? Kenapa satu hari tak balas whatspp? normal la kan? But there is one point you missing, the 'acah sentap sebab kena ignore', the 'merajuk bodoh' is because you care. not because you thought he/she is cheating on you, and obviously hey takkan dia nak kena ada dengan kau 24 jam kan?
8. The feeling is conditional
THIS, bilamana you can cheat on him/her. Kau boleh curang tanpa rasa menyesal. It is a fact that love is unconditional, kalau kau betul cinta, walaupun kau jauh, walaupun dia takda di depan mata, kau takkan mampu untuk flirting around, dating with someone else. Kau akan rasa even a slightest regret that you cheat on him/her. Tapi, if you are in lust, you could easily cheat and not feel a twinge of regret.
Panjang pulak aku bebel kan?
ni pendapat aku je. Tak betul mana pon. Kau rasa betul, betul la. Kalau tak, tak la. Mana yang elok, kau ambil jadi panduan, mana yang tak betul, kau tak payah la ikut.
Soooooo, RUN! if you think you are in lust instead in love. But if you give yourself a chance, you can turn the lust into love. Don't you think so?
however,
you can still love without lust you know.
when you know when to stop.
Don't you know that cuddling is the most comforting way when you are in love? Tapi kawin dulu la. HAHAHA
